Like an imaginary friend

You live in my head

I practice conversations

In exchange for butterflies

And rocks

Tumbling inside chest

Shaken not stirred, please

I want to expose myself

Bending over the whiskey wet bar

My wavering wit and trembling skin

Slurred and sloppy suggestions

I want to trust your hands

and heart

With all of me

I want to carve the smile lines

around your eyes

deeper and deeper

Even the sea would be jealous

Of the depth of joy I crave

The sun would sweat

At its intensity

I’m not a woman with a whale heart

I don’t sip my sins

I down shots without a chaser

I subscribe to morals that aren’t even mine

Like you

Although given a chance

I’d like you to be

This is pretty much me in my attempt to donate plasma today. I’ve been preparing myself for months, working out and eating right. Everyone told me I was too small and that it was a terrible idea but after three attempts they finally stuck me with the needle. I passed out, went into convulsions (with the needle still in so I wrecked my vein), threw up (projectile) on to a nurse, and shook so violently they could hardly put the second needle in to rehydrate me. All through some pretty gnarly abdominal cramps, I kept warning the nurse sitting next to me that I might lose control of my bowels and oh god , if I poop on you, I am so so sorry.

(Source: noobtheloser)